Sunday, 21 December 2014

Yes No Definitely No


Jacky (name changed to protect privacy) who lives two blocks away from my house has done it. Maya (name changed to protect privacy) indulges in it all the time.Then why should I wait till marriage to experience Sex? This question bothers so many youngsters  so what is the answer?
Before I can arrive at an answer I have to explore the reason of my existence, my being. However before the  question arises as to who am I, am I the body or am I the soul. If I am the soul then what is the relevance of this question and If I am the body alone then how does it matter as  conscience resides in the soul that guides us with the sense of right & wrong, Yes & No
I am of the opinion that we human beings are embodiment of the soul in the body. That is we are here on this earth for a purpose but what is it remains a mystery for a lot of us .However an emotion that we have all experienced is the emotion of Love. Right from childhood we all want to be loved this is an emotion embedded in the psyche of every human being. The reason could be that finding true love is one of the goals of every human being.
Coming back to the question of  a Yes or No to Pre-Marital Sex there does not seem to be a definitive answer so let me take the help of the scriptures where human life is divided  into four parts or ashrams. It is believed that living according to these guidelines a human being can live up to hundred years or more .
Based on this the first part is Brahmcharya . It is the first part of the life up to the age of 25 when a person grows up devoting his or /her life to gaining knowledge and preparing for the life ahead. It is during this part that a person is advised to maintain celibacy .
The term BrahmCharya consists of Brahm i.e god and Charya means deeds or way of living. However both Love and Sex are important parts of  human life. The role of a person is not to be fearful nor give in to the urge of sex but to channelize the energy and focus to develop intellect and skill set required for the next stage of life. The next part is the  or Grahasth Ashram or the married life . This is the part of human life when a person gets married . As part of the married life person enjoys sex and has children.

The basis of every action is thought and so the act of sex also begins with a thought. Sigmund Freud the father of psychoanalysis is also known for his study of human sexuality. He was of the view that all mental energy is derived from the body and human beings have limited energy. There is a cause for all human behavior and the goal of human behavior is to reduce stress. Human behavior is a result of impulses. These impulses are of two types Sexual impulses or life affirming impulses as he described them . Here Libido or libidinal energy becomes the source of the energy . As an impulse increases it forces a person to act accordingly which will reduce the need. On the utilization of mental energy he was of the view that the life affirming impulses or Libido is invested by a person towards various tasks and activities to achieve objectives and goals.
This view seems to be in accordance to the theory of Brahmcharya that has been an integral part of Shaivite Hinduism.
The institution of marriages in its originality and uncorrupted form seemed to believe that for every soul their was and is a soul mate and its our job to find that special person.
Moreover since the act of marriage seems to be designed for a long span of life or beyond. As in Hinduism the marriage vows seems to be an agreement  of togetherness  for “Saat Janmas” or seven lives .
Even marriages vows in Christianity suggest that the man and woman would be husband and wife till death does them apart.
Whatever the religion marriages seems to be designed for a long inning. Marriages seems to be a very old institution of Human civilized society. They have stood the test of time, well more or less. The institution of marriage seems to be designed to find that perfect partner or soul mate for one self. Delving into Hindu astrology ,the idea of match making takes into account matching of 36 points or parameters between the bride and the groom. The more points that match  better is the compatibility between the would be bride and the groom. Perhaps this again is a mathematical tool of elimination or selection that could help us  in finding the soul mate. However  there is a huge population and finding true love of the soul is a difficult task . It would require all our energy and focus to reach our true love, our soul mate.Taking a note from Dr. Sigmund Freud who said human bodies have limited energy and if we waste it by indulging in pre-marital sex then true love may just pass us by while we are experimenting with premarital sex. The biggest reason for it is that just as we crave for true love and search for our soul mate, our soul mate too is pursuing this search.

Pre-Marital sex can cause us to end up in a relation that may not last a lifetime or it may be just a passing fling. The other side of the coin is that if we accept pre-marital sex as the accepted norm then our soul mate could also get into meaningless relationships and this would prolong the wait time of our union or we may not meet at all.To those who do not believe in rebirth my argument is that considering the fact that human life form is precious and you have only one life then why be trapped in a meaningless relationship and why not spend it with your soul mate, a life full of love and fulfillment. To those who believe in rebirth and great Indian mythology and the Vedas I must remind them that Human body is acquired by the soul after it has traversed 84 Lacs Birth in various species. Incidentally Jacky and Maya whom I mentioned in the beginning are the names of a pet dog and a cat who live in my neighborhood and ours is perhaps the only species that has the institution of marriage, a species that has the intellect and reasoning power ,one that can put the mind over the body and let logic and reasoning prevail over desire.If we let go of  this search of our true love and soul mate then   perhaps we may not even unite in our entire life. So Like Arjuna who with his perfect concentration and focus could channelise his energy and  could see only the eye of the fish and nothing else , we should focus finding that special someone who would help us complete our live and fulfill the purpose of our life filling it with true love. 






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